Today is the third day in a row I have dreamt of being pregnant. Should I begin this differently? Should I start by saying that Grizzly and I have no intention of starting a family? That I have no desire to birth a baby.
True. She’d make a wonderful Papa Butch. We have fantasized about having a little cub around the house. One I could never scold because it has her huge smile. We fantasize but have no intentions of making it a reality.
Call it whatever you want. But, we really enjoy our freedom and spontaneity. Random travels to Philly or New York without having to load up an entire nursery to haul with us.
We haven’t had those fantasies in awhile, though. So, three consecutive days I’ve dreamt of being pregnant has been a mind fuck.
Today’s dream was so vivid I actually woke up sweating because this time I was actually going into labor.
I was at a hospital where I stayed in this big room with row of beds for all the women who were going into labor. Sounds like a birthing factory but that was not the atmosphere of the dream at all. A little more commune than factory. My baby wasn’t quite ready to wiggle out of my womb. The doctor suggested I step out to the walking trail. It was an indoor walking trail and the doctor said I could even smoke. Odd. But, yeah, I could go for a walk until I or the baby was ready.
Grizzly, made it to the hospital but couldn’t find me or my bed because I was out walking. On the trail with a friend chatting and trying to get this labor moving. I can hear an echo of Grizzly looking for me and doctors telling her I‘m on the trail etc.
Suddenly this little booger is ready. I’m on the trail ready to collapse and let it out on it’s own. Everyone ran towards me. I guess I screamed. I really don’t remember what made everyone run out to the trail. I had the doctors, my friend and Grizzly surrounding me, directing me to my bed to deliver.
And then I wake up. Out of the dream in my own bed, sweating.
I confess the three nights of pregnancy dreams. Tell her none of them have really been anything specific like this one. Nor as vivid.
“You have something you wanna tell me?” She asks.
Ha. No. I have not changed my mind on babies. She tells me one of her co-workers asked about us having babies recently too.
What the actual fuck is going on here?
I understand that when there is death there is new birth. Literally? Naturally, I turned to my favorite dream dictionary. Of course, it doesn’t explain my having them for three days in a row!
Cloud Nine A Dreamer’s Dictionary by Sandra A. Thomson reads:
Birth- If you’re not pregnant, to dream of having a baby can symbolize the birth of a new attitude/viewpoint; new project; new recognition/acceptance of your inner child. It can also refer to separating from some recent relationship; release from an old relationship; anticipation of a new future.
That makes sense, right? We have moved into one of the remodeled apartments in our complex. Followed by purchasing new furniture. Also, our marriage has a new positive energy since I’ve come back from Texas.