Are you singing? You should be singing the friggin’ song!! 😉
Super old question that stirs all kinds of consideration!! Sets both if not all parties in awkward positions. I love it. Everyone has their own perspective on the topic of dating your friend’s ex. Is it a bad thing to do? Honestly. Is it considered sloppy-seconds? Are you the royal asshole in your clique? Are you? Wouldn’t it be like dating anyone? Hasn’t everyone been with someone in their past? Isn’t everyone you date your sloppy who-knows-what-number? Does it matter who initiated the break up? If you’re friend broke up with the woman you’re interested is it cool? If the woman in question did the breaking up would you be the jerk friend?
A lot of questions to sit on, right?
For myself, I don’t care. If I broke up with a woman and my friend wanted to date her? Enjoy, buddy. You know what all went down in that relationship. Go. Have fun. Words of caution: I might be a little biased because she was my ex. I’m not so sure I’d be the one my friend would want to consult relationship issues with. If there are any, of course.
Even though I honestly feel that each relationship is different among individual people. Is my friend an asshole for deciding to date my ex? If I broke up with her? Absolutely not. If I broke up with her? I’m done. I’ve reached a point in that relationship where nothing is there. I’ve exhausted everything I had in that relationship.
If my ex broke up with me is my friend still a complete ass? Well, this is a shady grey area in my book. Obviously, if the wound is still bleeding with my guts hanging out from yesterday. Yes. You my friend are an asshole! No question. You’re a douche, dick, jerk. Inconsiderate slime!
Yea. See? That’s tender. Clearly, we just broke up and I haven’t worked off the shaking from shock to apply Heartbreak First Aid. You’re a punk. Now, my friend is dating this ex? How long have they been exchanging googly eyes in our social circle? Text messages? Phone calls? Nah. Too new, “my friend.”
After some time has passed and signs of moving on are clear. Sure. Date my ex. My friend has seen, heard and been there throughout said relationship. Ok. All I ask is for that friend to respect my boundaries. I might have moved on from that relationship. However, I might not be prepared to see you with her. I might have to hear how things are going for a bit before I can hang out as your third wheel.
Break ups are a process. I have exes that I’ve never seen. Not on purpose. I’m not friends with many exes and we just don’t have the same stomping grounds. There are exes out there who I’m way over but haven’t a clue how I’d feel if I saw them. If my friend were to date an ex I’d have to buck up and get over that reaction.
The sloppy second? Really? Sloppy seconds. I think this depends on the friend. If we’re considering our hygiene? Example: If I were interested in my best friend’s ex? I know my friend’s sexual history. We have told each other everything, right? We’ve been the wingman for each other. I know the types she takes home. I know how often she has wild random nights and I know her sexual sanitation routines. Cleans toys, protection, etc. Right?
If my friend doesn’t bring home random hookers or something i.e. doesn’t have a tendency to roll with a new chick every night of the week. I feel like this ex might be safe. I stress on might. STD’s affect everyone regardless of your sexual escapades. Lesser chances with fewer partners. If I had a friend that gets sloppy drunk, takes a different girl home all the time conducting sloppy sex. I wouldn’t touch her ex. I wonder about the ex. I’ve been wondering about the friend. Not interested. Generally speaking, aren’t we all someone’s sloppy pick-a-number? We’re not all pristine virgin a Marys in the dating scene anymore..
Questions of loyalty. Thing is, you’re my friend. It is my job to hope for your happiness and I’d expect the same from my friend. That my friend would want me to be happy. If I had a friend that is not comfortable with my having anything to do with their ex. Ok. I’d respect that.
It’s a small world, dating is tough and most of us date within our social circles. It’s possible to assume that one of us has dated another’s ex at some point.
I just feel with most things in life. One must consider the shady greys. What sort of friendship do you have with this individual? It really has nothing to do with ex. It’s about your friendship and the type of people you are with each other for each other.