Quick Thought On Want vs. Need & Control



It’s been a constant struggle. I graduated high school, kicked off adulthood like a boss. Managed to keep jobs, struggle with friendships, dating and jobs. Ran through cars, had some financial bumps I hopped right over.

You could say that considering everything that was ever thrown my way I knocked it out. Took care of it. Consider it handled. By yours truly.

I’ve been told by butches before that they’re afraid of being with me because I don’t need them. My response has always been the same.

I shouldn’t have to need you. I should want you.

I learned, of course, that when a butch or anyone is afraid of not being needed. That is a warning sign.

I need you..then you’ve gained control. Needing another is a game of power. I don’t like that playbook. Has never worked.


Strong women don’t need you. And that’s a damn good thing!

However, because we don’t need you. Some are fucking confused! No clue how to be there for that particular woman. You’re used to being needed.

My experience has been an either or situation. Either one completely takes over my problem. Which I have admired about butches. They carry the world on their shoulders with no complaints. But, I’m grown. I’m perfectly capable of fixing my own problems. Ya wanna help a little that’s cool. But, no complaints on how I roll.

Or nothing. Absolutely nothing. Zone out & let me ramble with no feedback. Nothing. Sitting’ in front of the tv, texting a friend.

“Whatever, Bitch, you don’t need me.” 

There never seems to be some form of an in-between. Let me communicate what I do need? A strong woman typically just wants an listening ear. Sometimes we’ll ramble on just to hear our thought process out loud. If we want your advice? We’ll ask for it. I don’t mean that in the fuck off fashion. Seriously, when we’re done. Exhausted ourselves. We really will ask. Same as many people do.

It’s a pride thing. Which normally one should put aside. However, we’re women. We’re femme women. Often perceived as this weak person to the general population.

Still? After all these years? I know. Crazy.


2 thoughts on “Quick Thought On Want vs. Need & Control

  1. You know what you want and you are not willing to settle for anything less. Some of us like it, some of us are treated by it, some of us couldn’t care less……Miss you V

    Liked by 1 person

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