My lease was running out at my little studio apartment in Houston. I had already discussed this idea with The Mom a year ago.
My traveling has basically been my finding a place to reside permanently. I had asked Mom if I could stay with her to save up money for either buying a place of my own or moving completely out of Houston. Possibly, out of Texas. She didn’t have a problem with it. Before doing so, I wanted to live on my own. Knowing that if I should decide to move out of state I would be sharing a place with a friend or random roommate deal. I wanted to enjoy my very own place before breaking out into the unknown.
Buying or big change?
I finished out that year alone and had a blast traveling. I still didn’t know where I wanted to move. I had a pull for up North. My only concerns were cost of living and the fuckin’ cold! Sights set for New York. My line of work didn’t amount to cost of living. If I chose New York? I’d be in a roommate situation. Well, a few roommates.
This Southern Bitch is not used to the cold at all. We barely have winters in Houston. Our snow days are their sleet! I could rant on the chill factor forever.
Basically, I’m gonna fuckin’ freeze! 😉
Mom gave the OK for me to move in with her and I was packing up my shit gettin’ myself set on the idea that I’m about to live with my mother at my age. After everything I’ve done. The adult I am. The independence I’ve regained being pushed aside again. Even if it were only for a short time.
The comforting thought to overcome this self resentment was that I’m staying with Mom. We’re in a good place. And the family visits Mom’s house on a regular basis. Dad’s house is not too far away, either. This will be a lot of family time if I should decide to move away from home.
I tell Crush about my plans and she suggests my moving there with her. She was serious. She really wanted us to be roommates! I had thought about it. When this has been brought up before? I really thought she was joking. But, she was serious. And..it all made sense. After the bed bug issue I had to toss out all my furniture. Basically, starting all over again anyway. So, the move would be light. Just load my clothes up in the car.
Now was as good a time as any for an out of state move. For a big move.
After much goofiness and serious discussion making. Yea! Why the fuck not? I’d love to be so close to New York without the major cost! I’d be rooming with my best fucking friend!!
Decision made. V.V. living with The Mom to save to move up north. Awesome roommate with my BFF! Made perfect sense. Both single, butch and femme, best friends. We’re on the phone all day every day telling each other everything in the world.
After we had made this agreement. For a split second, the thought of my crushing on her crossed my mind. I shrugged it off. We’ve been friends for a long time now. Quite possibly my own fears to avoid such a huge change, right? I’ll do that. I’ve been doing that to avoid this sort of move. Find excuses and ways to cheat myself out of this very thing. This serious break out of my comfort zone.
I’ve known Houston, Tx my entire life. My family, whether we’re talking or not, has always been right there. Influencing me or helping me. Just right there. I know the people around town. Even though I don’t really know them. I know how to be where and what not. Comfort.
But, my New Year’s Resolution was all about breaking those comfort zones. Leaving the place I thought of as home for so long is my big one!