I feel like I’ve unintentionally neglected this baby. Not for lack of many attempts to sit and write. I’m usually at work on the computer. When I get the urge to type a thought? A call comes in. When said call is finished? I look through my pictures of her.
She’s a very good distraction.
This chick right here is actually in a relationship! A good relationship. Thus, an amazing distraction. I go through these pictures and I just smile. I touch my neck where she has kissed me. Where her hands fingers have touched behind my ears. Her lips and teeth above my collarbone.
A good distraction, indeed.
I’m in a place I didn’t think I’d ever be. I’m completely safe with her. She encourages, rather than bring me down. She pushes me. She pulls me. She makes me laugh. And she knows how to have a deep, penetrating conversation with me. She has never judged anything about me or my past. We experience an openness that seems rare. We communicate about things that most, it seems, get upset or jealous over.
She gets me. Someone friggin’ gets me.
She understands my slutty side, my lady side. She knows when to give advice and when to just listen. Most of the time I don’t have to tell her when to do which. More and more I’m realizing just how vulnerable I am to her.
I’m a bubble with her. Like, little 99 cent bottled bubbles. Just the tip of her finger could pop me. Not a plastic bubble. Not a friggin’ glass house or anything similar. A little soapy bubble. I realized..if anything happened to her? Or to us? I’d be done. She has been the one person I’ve trusted. The only person I completely trust.
So, with these realizations. I’ve been distracted. Feeble attempts at rough drafts about previous dates. And other drafts how this butch and I came to be where we are now. I keep getting distracted. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not walking around with my head in the clouds or anything. Just enjoying everything that is us. There is so much to share…mad writer’s block..in the best form ever!