Doctor Dud



*Don’t y’all just love my late posting habits!?!?*


It is a regular past time of mine to flag Craigslist hookers and housewives. It’s funny reading their ridiculous pleas for pussy.

One very boring work day, I decided to pursue this little hobby of mine. Finger heavy on the trigger for flagging. An ad came up in my feed about a smart butch in the area. I clicked on it.

“Yea. Ok. I can’t wait to find all your intelligent errors throughout your post.” I thought. Low and behold. No errors and an impressive vocabulary. OK. I’ll shoot you an email, Handsome. I mean, she was incredibly handsome. Big, strong arms and an adorable smirk. Reading the post and looking at her picture I thought for sure she’s Leo. Not another Leo.

I sent the email with the intention to be friends. I wasn’t looking for a date. I didn’t want anyone to stress over. Schedule for, etc. Does a girl like getting dressed up? Of course. I was totally down for getting all gussied up. The dating part I didn’t/don’t want to deal with? Scheduling and making sure everyone is OK and getting along smoothly.

She e-mailed me back. Exchanged numbers. Which is kind of a headache for me because I’ve found that texting seriously is the easiest way to get a hold of me. My work hours are long and my days off just don’t match with the rest of the world. In general, I’m perfectly fine with this. Dating and social life is where I feel a little lame or annoyed with it.

We agreed to meet after a couple nights talking on the phone. Great phone voice. Not only did she write with that vocab! She verbalized it too! 😀 Hot, right?!?!

I certainly thought so. We had discussed going to the museums. All this time in Houston from New York and she hadn’t checked out our museums. No doubt that H-Town couldn’t possibly compare to New York’s museums. However, the Museum District is a popular tourist attraction. She said that she gets bored with art museums. So, I made a compromise with the Museum of Natural Science. She was running a little late.

She’s a friggin’ Leo. I know she’s a Leo. Don’t get me wrong. There are a lot of great things about Leo’s. But, time management when they’re not working and have a errands is really bad. If ya have things to do? Do it without over scheduling. There are only so many hours in a day.

It started pouring down rain. We found out that science museum was closed by the time we were ready to meet up. Headed to the contemporary arts museum. We laughed and joked about the canvases that were simply splattered with color or one solid color of paint. This is art? She thought that she was being annoying. I thought it was all quite hilarious. The museum date was going so well. We opted to keep going and headed to a tea house to chat some more. She was getting ready to go out of town for a conference and wanted a laptop for her trip. I suggested Microcenter. Some how we managed to prolong the date to errand?

My fault. I made the suggestion for a cheap laptop and that place tends to have decent deals on their refurbished products. My laptop is from there? She apologized for squeezing an errand into a date. Said it was too soon for that sort of thing. I had mentioned to her that I’d rather every day things go on during a date, honestly. I’d rather see how one interacts with others. I’ve been married. I don’t like dating. I’d rather more reality than the bullshit people spew out during a date.

We agreed to meet again. The usual 20 question game began. Have you been out long? Have you ever been with a man? Are you out? Blah. Blah. Joy. <Insert sarcasm>

Then the birthday questions! Don’t know how. But, she’d asked my birthday and I told her. I’m a Cancer. “Oh. I like Cancers.” She says. Sure ya do

“I’m not your typical Cancer. I was raised by a Sagittarius/Scorpio mother and my father is a Leo. There’s a lot of fire in my upbringing.” I thought.

“And when is your birthday?” I inquire. Knowing that she is somewhere on Leo spectrum.

Her birthday was a little too familiar for me. “So, you’re a Leo.” I said.

“More like a Virgo.” She assures me. Yea…OK. I knew you were a Leo before you even told me!

The next date was planned for dinner. I’m Texan and I don’t like Southern food. Not a big fan of BBQ and fried foods. But, she suggested dinner at some contemporary southern food restaurant. OK. I’ll try it. I’m a Yes Ma’am this year, remember? It was delicious. The waiter was awesome. We had a great time. We were gonna catch a movie. The problem was that she was just starting her position at the vet’s office and didn’t want to stay out late. OK. Went to her house, met the dog and watched a t.v. show. That was kinda nice. 🙂

Next date, was the third date. We went out to dinner. It was agreed after a few good make out sessions and heavy petting that I’d go the next level with her….

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