Use the Force?!?

strange_desperately_addiction_by_Fuck_Me_Mon_Amour

 

Welcome to Houston, BadAss!!

Ya like what you see??? 😉

Those that have been keeping up on Facebook know that BadAss arrived Friday! It’s Saturday as I’m typing!! One night down! Rushing to the airport, coffee in hand!! Her flight came in earlier than the ticket advised!!!

Grrrr!! We would have had time to shop for um…accessories!! She wanted new tools and after reading the TSA requirements in Massachusetts. Apparently, these lesbian household items are considered pornographic?

What? I will need to investigate this a little further…

So, I picked her up and we were famished!! Drove around the Gayborhood (Montrose and Westhiemer) looking for somewhere to get our grub on! We were ready for lunch food while the places that were open were still serving breakfast!

What the fuck, yo!?!

Tried to take her to one of my favorite spots Brazils. Yea. They were still serving breakfast. Phooey!

The both of us actually craving some Mexican food ended up at Zoe’s Kitchen! A far healthier choice!! 🙂

And here I am continuing this post on Monday. My Friday, my weekend begins after tonight! 🙂

Things have been a little funky at work. AND I’ve recently become crazy addicted to Orange is the New Black! I don’t own nor do I want to own a TV! Sorry for being a little neglectful.

The first night BadAss arrived it was like she had already been living with me or something. Maneuvering our way around my apartment like a good flow.

And I’m going to wrap this up on the next Tuesday. Sorry for the delay. Those who have been asking about her visit. Thing is.

There isn’t much to tell. I didn’t get all excited like I thought I might have. I was excited the night before picking her up. As the week went on…I actually..Kinda wanted her to go home.

Nothing against her. I’ve just grown very comfortable in my own little space. Me and my cat. Our little routine. Not that she interrupted our routine. It felt odd having someone else there. And watching everything. I’m not ready for anyone to be scoping out my routine. My goofiness in my apartment.

The week kept going on and when we went to Ren Fest. I was a wench. Boobs hanging out of a black and purple corset, skirt hiked up to my hips. There she was making comments about said costume. Then proceeded to cover me up whenever possible. And apparently, giving anyone who was looking at me the evil eye.

Not cool. It’s Ren Fest. Everything is all in good fun. I was dressed as a wench…I’m gunna get some looks. I felt a little over protected.

A couple of nights before we went to JR’s Pub where I saw an old friend of mine who is still friends with Ex-Hubby. Then at Ren Fest I saw Ex-Hubby’s sister and niece. Twice in one week. I had told her that I was a little funky about that. They say these things come in threes.

Her first comment was telling me to call her if the third should happen.

Um…Why?

Again with the over protecting. She said so that she could protect me. From Massachusetts?

Not sure that’s very effective. I proceeded to tell her that I don’t need any protecting. It wouldn’t be anything like that. She doesn’t come into Houston, for one thing. And I don’t go to her city. I have no reason to. I don’t even go to Galveston. So, the chances of us running into each other are pretty slim. And even if we did. I have a superb ability to act like I’ve never met you before in my life.

So…I don’t need protection.

Another incident where I opened my big mouth to some teenagers walking out of the “Enter” side doors at Wal Mart.

“It says Enter.” I snickered. They proceeded to call me a bitch.

Whatever. Then these kids decided to walk back inside the store only to find me and throw insults at me. Wanting me to apologize. Umm…you were coming through the entrance. You’re at fault. No. I will not. While I was walking away and ignoring these little chicks BadAss thinking she was defending me kept talking.

Ugh…just leave it all alone. There’s no talking to stupid. Those girls were being stupid.

Thanks. But no thanks, Hon.

Just stop.

At RenFest we were all waiting for the fireworks to start outside the gates. This drunk woman comes walking toward BadAss and nearly falls on her. BadAss keeps on talking with her!! If you don’t want someone to talk to you? YOU have to stop talking! Especially when they’re drunk and alone. They’ll talk your fucking ear off as long as you’re reciprocating.

Basically, she just seems a little over protective and a bit naive at the same time.

After she left I wanted a few days to enjoy my solitude, regroup and figure out a way to break things off with her respectfully. I had fully intended to go about the conversation respectfully and still wanted to be her friend. Yes. Let her stay with me while she gets settled in Houston. I certainly, didn’t want to go about things via text. When ya push…expect to get slammed.

As usual, nothing ever goes as planned! She kept emailing, texting and tweeting me.

When I say leave me alone. I mean leave me alone. The more you bug me after I’ve said this. The less I want to talk to you. My friends know this. My friends know that I will come around and say what I need to say after I’ve had my space.

This is twice with BadAss I’ve had this issue.

Not a fan of repeating myself. *Shrug*

There wasn’t a pull to her. Chemistry might be another term. She and I didn’t seem in-tune with each other. Misinterpreting looks from a far. Misunderstanding through communication. She said I confused her. Well, that could be that you’re so stuck on your assumptions that you neglect what I am plainly telling you.

I don’t play games. I’m very honest. Too honest.

And I’m tired of being treated like some fucking bitch when I’m saving everyone time and fucking heartache! If you feel that need to have the last word or the upper hand when I’ve decided not to date you anymore. Fine. Whatever. Thus further justifying my decision not to date you. Thank you for helping me sleep at night.

There’s a common assumption that when one is quick to decide not to date another? That they’re not trying hard enough.

Here’s the thing. I’ve been in love before. I’ve experienced love in it’s pure and evil forms. Ex-Hubby and I had love once. I still feel for her and care for her. Not in the same ways I did when we were together. But I do have comfort knowing that she is OK and good. That was the purpose of my breaking up with her. I loved her so much I knew I needed to let her go.

I’ve had love. I love love and want it again so badly. But, I wont force it. There was pull. A force I’ve experienced before when dating. I had a pull when I talked with Ex-Hubby. There was a stronger force when we met. The pull kept getting stronger.

I’m not looking for that same experience. But, I know what the pull feels like. I need that pull in order to pursue any further with anyone.

I’m afraid I’ve had more of a pull with Temptress than with BadAss. I know that sounds crazy. That is the force. Though I know nothing will come out of whatever Temptress and I do with each other. I can continue whatever it is simply because of that force. It’s not lust. It’s some sort of connection that one can’t explain.

To be honest, even if said pull were lust? That’s still something more than no pull at all. Right?

2 thoughts on “Use the Force?!?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s