I have a certain set of rules when it comes to dating. One rule I’m quite strict on and have even let slide a couple of times in my life is the Battle of the Ex. Or the Ex Factor, bluntly speaking. In the Battle of the Ex post I was referring to dating while still being friends with an ex and how to go about introducing Ex-Lover to New Lover.
What I’ve failed to mention are the tall tale signs that an ex might not be over you!
That’s right! There are signs and red flags that let one know that the Ex is not finished with you. It’s not necessarily your fault. Not always. However, you must recognize when you might have let the break up lines blur a bit.
It happens. We’re human.
1. The lines typically get blurred when it comes to sex. You’ve just broken up. You didn’t make it as a couple. But, y’all have amazing, mind blowing sex!! I get it! Or there are even some cases where the sex wasn’t even all that great. Yet, you have an urge and you feel like a wild beast if you don’t get this orgasm out of your system.
Sex is, in fact, a high!
So, I get it. I really really get it. I’m a nymphomaniac…I totally understand the wild beast syndrome! I’ve been told by a lover before that she needs to up her stamina because of my insatiable need to cum!
Ex-Hubby and I broke up many times through out our relationship. Our fall back was always sex. Yes. We did still love each other. Most break ups still occur while a couple loves and cares for each other. That’s all a process. But, sex? A lot of us like to think that we can separate the physical and emotional so soon after a break up.
“We didn’t work as a couple. We can still have sex.” Is quite common!
There are repercussions with this deal!! If this is a sort of tradition in your on-again, off-again relationship? And your dick so happens to fall into her cunt? Yea. Expect her to believe there’s a chance of getting back together. Y’all have formed this habit.
If you’re truly done? You’re aware of what brings you back together every time? Sex. Might not be wise to strap it on for the Ex! Might not be ideal to spread for the Ex! Find somewhere/someone else to satisfy that hunger!
2. Move Out!! If you’re planning on dating at any point in your new-found single life! MOVE! Or have her move! There is no confusion greater than supposedly being on the market while still engrossed with roommate obligations. You’re now roommates. While it sounds good theory. This plan has also been known to be a bit of a struggle. There are some who can go about this arrangement pleasantly. If one of you still believes that there is a chance to rekindle the Lover’s Flame? One of you needs to move! I know, it’s hard. I’m aware that it’s a bit overwhelming.
Not only are you experiencing heartbreak! You’re having to flip the world you’ve become comfortable in upside down!
Again! I get it! Hello! Housewife here! Yea..my world was flipped in every direction and the Ex tried to make it as difficult for me as possible. You can overcome to big move! The healing seriously takes over you once you’ve left the “comfortable” home you both built and begin creating your own world!
Trust me on this one! Seriously!
3. Social networking sites are a wonderful thing aren’t they?!?! We meet people through them, reconnect with old friends, stay in touch with family and even find gossip to share at the next Christmas shin dig! It’s fucking awesome! Yea. Your Ex thinks so too! 😉 How often have we deleted our profile because an Ex has gone psycho on us?? Lesbians? Too many times to count! Weened out our friend’s lists because there’s a few too many mutual friends who love to share a bit too much. When I broke up with Ex-Hubby we had agreed to my staying with her until I got on my feet. I had made an executive decision to delete and block her from my Facebook. Not because I was trash talking, or flirting or anything of that sort. But, because the break up was tough. There was a lot of reading too far into nothing causing this separation more heartache, fighting and more drama than there really needed to be. She didn’t like that. Again, reading too far into nothing and drawing one’s own psychotic conclusions after a break up.
It’s what a lot of Exes do after a break up. They draw you and themselves crazy with their hurt. Don’t let them know you’re talking to someone new. All they need to do is look up your friend’s list and add all your friends randomly.
This happened with BadAss and I. Her Ex tried to “follow” me. I noticed we had one mutual friend in common. It was easy to figure out what was going on. “Roommate” is actually “Ex” with whom tamed wild beast needs few months prior to meeting me. Thus, the attempt to stalk me….and everyone else in BadAss’s life.
Bitches be crazy!
4. She gets jealous! A fully healed Ex has no need or reason what-so-ever to be jealous of anything. Time, new lovers or friends. A fully healed Ex doesn’t care what you do with your time anymore.
5. She’s trying to start fights with you that have no grounds for an argument. Be it her jealousy or just finding anything to nag to you about. She’s not done with you. She’s trying to get any sort of attention from you. She doesn’t care if it’s good or bad attention. It’s your attention focused on her in some form or another.
Don’t fall into that one! Not only are you catering to her crazy. You’re likely to make yourself crazy, as well. Saying and doing things that you typically might never say or do. That’s exactly what she wants.
You’re done giving this person your time and energy, right?