First Date Jitters!

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I can’t believe this is happening!! I don’t even know if I like the boi or not!! I shouldn’t be nervous! She’s already fucked me right!! What’s to be nervous about?

Oh..she’s a jokster and I’m gunna go in there wondering a million questions I can’t even answer myself!!!

What are you looking for? Relationship? Or just dating? Ya know considering they still live together! Ugh! That’s gunna bug the tar out of me!

Did I mention that I need to do laundry and haven’t a thing to wear!!! We’re going out for crawfish. Which ya know…isn’t my typical ideal first date. but, I’ll roll with it. Hello!!! BOIS!

We ladies like gettin’ fixed up for you, ya know!! There is such a thing as dressy casual!! First date does not include a place where pretty femme is gunna get her make up or clothes ruined! Let alone smell like fish!

I’m over thinking! See! But why?!?!? What the fuck is the big deal?

I’m not ready! I’m not ready. How many times have I posted here that I’m not ready!! I still feel certain stings of pain. I shouldn’t be dating at the prospect of a relationship. I should be dating just to date and have fun. Right?

Am I throwing myself out there? Maybe I am. Maybe some fucked up sadomasochist part of me wants the torture of another step away!! I’m an emotional cutter…didn’t ya know! Like the Femme Friend blog. I kept looking at those houses no matter the hurting. It was like I wanted it.

I’ve never really dated. Is that it? I’ve never really done the whole first date thing. Ugh! And I can’t sleep!! I’m gunna be a total wreck! Bags under my eyes! Probably not going to wake up in time to do a quick nail polish. Does that matter when eating mud bugs? Is this really a date? Like me and her? Or is it me tagging along with her and her friends.

Fucking lesbians and clinging onto their friends for everything. Annoying. It’s a first date…give the girl some time. Yep. Over thinking this. Now I think I know why I don’t do this sort of thing. It’s too much. And we’re only getting crawfish! I’d be a mess if it was something nicer, huh?

*Sigh*

I really don’t have a thing to wear. Well nothing date/crawfish appealing. And then work right after. Not even a take the edge off beer. Not cool, Boi! LOL! On the bright side this doesn’t form an assumption that she’s only looking to get another fuck outta me. That’s a good sign, right?

I’m not prepared. Why the hell did I agree to this? I should cancel? Ya know. For a day when all my laundry is done and I have more options! I don’t have to worry about time and getting to work! Um…my hair is done. Any other excuse! I’m utterly exhausted and can’t seem to get to sleep!!

Fine. Ok. Snapping out of it.

*Slap* *Slap*

Get yourself together. Play your classical music and rest your eyes, V.V.! It’s just meeting up with a friend. There. We’re only getting to know each other.

Joaquin Rodrigo Concierto de Aranjuez on play…

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