Delirious Verbal Vomit

insomnia-and-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-CBT-I

I had a very informative class on Sunday. I work night-shift and was granted that Saturday night off. Gotta be awake and alert for an eight hour class overloaded with compressed, vital information. After the class, night-shift personnel were allotted time to go home and rest before starting shift.

Y’all, I tried! I tried really hard to get some sleep. I succeeded at maybe two hours. Waking up in odd intervals. I’m not sure if it was the information I now have in possession. Or just my body running on fumes and paranoia of being late to whatever work related time demands. Meetings here, classes and overtime.

Not to mention those wonderful stress relievers we’re supposed to take outside of the work place. Cooking your own food in order to maintain a healthy diet. Regular exercise in order to relieve stress and catching a break from the sedentary life of sitting in a chair all day. I don’t talk about work a lot on here because of my need to keep it so private!

HOWEVER!! This is my venting space and damnit! I believe there have been several occasions when I just want to STOP!!!

Don’t get me wrong! I love my job! I love my job so damn much it may be considered unhealthy to other people. I’m one of the few Americans this day and age who loves going to work! Spending all day there! Getting that pay check! And feeling damn good about it! It’s not a grueling nine to fiver! It’s a who knows what’s gunna happen no matter what shifter!

The pitfalls? Poor sleeping, eating, exercise and social habits. Holy crappers, I really need to find some sort of balance or way to work around it! My PMDD is a hormonal issue. Therefore, things like sleeping, eating and exercise can affect me. Slightly, at times or not. It’s in the back of my mind. Along with all the other things that keep getting shoved around in there.

Over time, overtime, overtime! Meeting on this day. Ugh! Class! Oooh! I have five rough drafts I wanna get in the zone for! Stupid fucking car! I haven’t seen my step-mom since the cancer has cleared. Fuck! We’re all about to watch my grandmother die from cancer. Ugh. I’ve got to make time to swing by HR to get me on insurance. When was that bill due again. Write it down. Don’t forget to set a reminder here. Maybe, I can meet with Roomie on this day and Boss~n~Company the next. Tuesdays and Wednesdays off really bites! Milk, coffee, bread, and cheese. Do we need more sugar? Sugar…oooh I wanna bake something. Damnit. Still need to buy baking utensils and pans. When was the last time I called Dad? How can I formulate a way to get Mom checked out for her heart tests? All this heart and cancer history suddenly coming up…nope. I’ve tried everything within my own power to quit smoking. What’s the next damn step? I’m paying for a personal trainer and hardly ever make it to see him. I need that body for Cabo!! Put money aside for Cabo.

Thus, my lack of sleep.

Add on today’s news, 82% rapes go unreported. I’m one of the 82%. Most sexual assault occurs before a woman is 25. One in four. Human trafficking is modern day slavery. My God, chastity procedures still happen today. How can I be more proactive among my own peers? What are the resources, classes and conferences?

I don’t know if you’ve figured out by now. But, I’m not going to Vegas for the Rockabilly weekend. I feel like I need to be close to home for a bit. I am going to keep my days off that I put in for. Another promise I made to myself when I got this job back. Don’t be afraid to take a vacation!!! Your shift will get covered! It is your damn right!! As an employee to get a fucking vacation. Didn’t housebitch life teach you anything!?!?!

I’m only human and can do so much. I need to stop trying to overwhelm myself. Some of this stuff, though. It’s not my doing. I didn’t sign up for another family member to have cancer! I certainly, didn’t sign the dotted line for my mother to have some sort of stroke!

Yes, God. Things are getting a bit dull down here with my regular hours of work and sleep. Can we kick in some family health problems to spice it up a bit. Amen?

Uh no! That ain’t how this chica rides!

Alas, I’m keeping the vacation I put in for Vegas. I think I will spend that time at my parent’s beach house. My little local paradise which only requires a half a tank in gas. Take that Southwest Airlines! 😛

3 thoughts on “Delirious Verbal Vomit

  1. Ahh…the whirlwind of Life!! Takes us all by surprise somedays.
    “Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be Notorious!!” ~Rumi
    Love your words. Live gently & full of fire!!

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  2. I swear we are twins… I love my job also. When i have my days off (same as you which is weird too lol cus how many people have these days off?) I would actually rather be at work. I love my customers even the assholes. It makes my day/night exciting. I feel needed and wanted when I’m at work.

    My sleep pattern sucks, i don’t eat, and hell I’ve never exercised lol what the hell is that anyway? lolol.

    I have a weeks vacation to take and I’m too scared to take it because “who will work for me?” Isn’t that sad? I’m telling you, we are for real twins. lol 🙂

    I love how fiesty you are and speak your mind. Its great love reading your blogs! 🙂 thanks for letting me read!

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  3. Yea! We’re supposed to have a social life outside of work!! How? When?? Tuesdays and Wednesdays are horrible for finding anything to do and get together with friends!! Roomie and I have literally sat a coffee shop browsing our phones trying to find something to do!!!

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