Blame It On The Juice



I have a friend that I get to hang out with quite sporadically. When she’s in town we might try to get together. And since the beginning of our friendship, whenever my work schedule allowed us. For anonymity purpose we’ll call her, Boss. I knew her a bit before I even met Ex-Hubby. We met at a local bar years ago and have somehow always stayed in touch. Even between jealous girlfriend’s or life’s personal bullshit.

By the way, Boss is the very same butch from “open-relationships-may-be-the-way-to-go

When we are single and catching up..or just shootin’ the shit. As we usually do. There are some nights we end up being a little cuddly, kiss and hold hands through the bar. Stand in girlfriends, if you will. I’ve been all right with this sort of relationship for years. I’ve struggled with whether or not I’d be in a serious relationship with her or not. Yet, I’ve struggled with this unspoken thing we do every time we get together.

Friends think I’m gunna get laid on the nights I get together with Boss. It’s funny…because I know that I wont. They know that I’ve crushed on her years. They don’t know how much I struggle with that crush and how safe I feel leaving at what we are. We’re friends. She helped me a lot through my break up with Ex-Hubby. Anytime, I needed a snuggle night she was there to pick me and just let me sleep with her. She’s not one for a girl to behave like a girl. Crying and all that sappy shit.

As you can see, neither am I. 😉

But, she’d sit on the phone with me and let me get it out of my system. I was coping with the break up, starting my life over, and someone very close to me with breast cancer. Like, a snowball.

Unlike Boss, she sat through it. She received a lot of drunk dialing…at all hours of the night. Me, saying who knows what sort of dirty, nasty, sexually explicit things.

*Shaking my damn Head*

I’ve overcome all those obstacles and am feeling a huge sense of my old normal self again. Called Boss up this weekend after I got out of work. Wanted to watch a college football game. What better football fan to sling beers back with?? Boss! Duh!

This particular evening was different from any other time. On our way from one place to another she brought up her thoughts about having a relationship with me.

Shut the fuckin’ front door!?!??! Me?! Naturally, I was in a bit of shock and had to remind myself that we’d been drinking.

Never trust anyone’s drunk words. I know they say that it’s truth serum. However, I’ve said I loved a girl or two while under the influence. When, in fact, I did not!

Words like this can also be said to women to sweet talk them in order to seal the deal. Boss, knows that she doesn’t need to do this with me!!

Either way…it’s a constant back and forth head game with her. I would’ve been fine if nothing like that had been said at all. After another normal night of kissing and hand holding. Nothing said about it. Nothing to look into as more than what it is.

Fucker done fucked me up for about a day. I think some more into the week.

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