Friends With Benefits

Ya know you’ve had one or two..three perhaps. 😉

More? Ya dirty, dirty whore! Just Kidding!! 🙂

Fuck buddy, could be another term for some. For me, this has usually happened with someone who was a friend. We had a crazy drunk night, slept together, thought nothing of it, and decided to make it a regular thing. Without really ever saying anything. The difference, now a days, is that we meet a wide range of friends online. Along with a lot of online flirting after many great conversations.

Eh. It happens a tad bit differently with the evolution of technology. Demolition Man keeps flashing in my head! The part when Sandra Bullock wants to have “sex” with Sylvester Stylone and they have to wear those virtual reality helmets. Yea..it’s kinda like that. Who knew we’d be on our way to having casual online sex? Can’t complain…the STD epidemic can die out some…hopefully? I just don’t want a damn citation for exchanging bodily fluids. Heaven forbid we shake hands after a game of some sport?

Several butch friends of mine and I have gone over the FWB rules. To be honest, I didn’t think there were any. :/ As usual, I don’t give a fuck. 😛 If you’re getting too close for the comfort zone I have laid out for you, “Peace out, Homie!”

If you actually wanted more than friends. I’d suggest you take up your listening skills during this FWB time. Maybe. Maybe you’d have a chance for a future. Don’t take my word for it, though. FWB is usually “safe” rebound. A cool friend when you’re in need of touch.

Every once in awhile, some of us have been known to slip out of FWB and transform into something more. It’s so common, Hollywood made a movie about it. *Yawn*

FWB’s and One Night Stands are not. I repeat NOT the same thing!! You’ve known a FWB for who knows how long and are aware of likes, dislikes, and boundaries. The respect and understanding of each other is a little more solid. Might I also mention, that it just doesn’t feel near as dirty as a one nighter!!

I’m not sure where to begin. Except for a few basics and y’all are free to add anything else! 😉

1. When the first encounter happens. Don’t freak out. You’re both human. You both have needs. Obviously, you both wanted them filled. THIS ONLY APPLIES TO CONSENSUAL SEX!!!!

If you discover a bit of shock. Which can happen because…you’ve been friends forever!?!?! Right?!?! What the FUCK just happened? o.O

2. Have a little “pow wow” with said FWB.

Example:

You: “Hey. About last night…it wasn’t anything serious. I’m not looking for a relationship, right now.”

FWB: “Oh! Thank god! We were just drunk…and it happens.”

You: “Yea. But, it was pretty hot, right?”

FWB: “Dude! Yea! It was.”

Flirty grins between you both. It’s on next round. This is the ideal morning after FWB initiation sex. 😉

3. This is where it starts to really unfold. 😉 You or your FWB can not show any signs, what so ever of jealousy! None! Argue it all you want. The simple fact is that y’all aren’t in a commitment! You’re good friends and the only passion or intimacy you share is sex. S.E.X! We’re all aware that sex doesn’t automatically cause reason to change your relationship status! 😉

Say this one is tricky. It is! As we’re all human and suffer from occasional irrational emotions syndrome. I am a believer that every time you have sex. Or give yourself to another this way..you’re giving a piece of you. I know..shocker that I think this way. However, given my past, I feel myself experiencing a loss every time I conduct in meaningless sex. Even with a FWB. It’s a necessary evil for some. Myself included. :/

Tips on jealousy issues: Take a fucking break! Nothing says you can’t take a step away from the FWB for awhile! You’re not attached, remember? You can fill up your agenda or time with other friends whom you’ve not had sex with. Don’t go blabbing to them about your FWB frustrations. As living in the lesbian world is like a small town. Word gets around. 😉 You don’t want to do that to your friend. And it makes you look bad, as well. Getting all pissy faced over a fuck! Take on some overtime at work. Take that road trip you’ve been saving for. Have a girl’s night out. Or yes, in my experience, most FWB need a bois night out.

I love my bois. But, sometimes, y’all get warped up in a beautiful femme and loose all sense of logic. I say that with love, as a friend. 😉

4. When y’all ain’t fuckin’ ya need to cut off the bondage straps. Got it? It’s really not your FWB’s business as to where you’re going and who you’re going with. Understood! It’s not your business, either! So, hope off that high horse!

5. NEVER! EVER assume your FWB is off fucking around. It’s not your business. It is, but it isn’t. I can understand asking for numbers. How many people is your FWB fucking? That makes perfect sense. Interestingly enough, that question gets some defensive backlash! Really? If I ain’t the only one you’re fucking? Even if it’s just one other woman..I still want to know. I will stay on top of going to the clinic and push for you to do the same. I digress, that is my OCD issue.

6. “I miss you.” is almost as tricky of a statement as saying, “I love you.” Shut your mouth! Saying you miss your FWB is saying that you’ve become attached. *Tisk* *Tisk*
Those are top 6. It’s a touchy relationship, no doubt. If you know that you’re typically relationship material? For everyone’s sake don’t do this! It’s not in your personality to separate sex and commitment. It’s not a bad thing. Don’t take it as it is. I admire people who can put aside their physical needs and wait on a girlfriend to come along.

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