Easy A

I believe it is quite a common rumor that if one portrays herself as a slut she should expect to be treated as such. I’ve been guilty of this. As almost every woman has. Deny it all you want. However, slut is in the eye of the beholder, as is beauty.

I may flirt shamelessly. Openly discuss sexual pleasures. But, I am in no way a slut. Granted one horribly awful and most embarrassing evening. I’m not.

Yet, if you should see my facebook. I have uninhibitedly flirted *winked* and expressed my own personal desires. However, without and specific invitation towards anybody. Yet, they are free to advertise their perverted behavior on a space where family members are obviously present.

I don’t censor and I don’t hold back. So, I don’t delete these. And to me what is harmless online flirting and flattery. can sadly be misinterpreted as a slut!

I just finished watching Emma Stone’s Easy A. And at some point in the movie after she has played this charade of being a slut. She begins to wonder…where is the chivalry? Where are her dates?

Thus, is why I’ve always hated being called hot, pretty, cute and sexy. Don’t get me wrong..what woman isn’t somewhat flattered…unless she is butch. Of course. After awhile…I want deeper compliments. You know I’m reading a book…ask what it’s about. Quiz me. Enlighten me. Strike up a better conversation than how amazing you and your lovers might believe you are in bed.

Seriously, I don’t buy it! Usually those who profess at being astronomical in the sack are the worst lays of anyone’s life. Honestly, let your ex lovers do the bragging. And the leave the mystery for the new chick.

It’s far more entertaining and arousing for a woman not know what to expect from a new lover. You fill her up with these expectations that you’re the god of sex…well…ya set yourself up for her let down. At some point, she’s begun to have high hopes. She’s expecting to scream your name. When you can barely get your tongue to reach the g-spot when fucking her. Most g-spots aren’t that deep…just sayin’.

So enough with the hardcore sex chat invitations. My cockiness isn’t my being cute or bashful…I’m appalled. That another woman would think. Even fathom that I would want to be treated like some hooker you’re trying to pick up off the street as another fucking bitch that fell for your assholish douche persona.

I do dress slutty. I wear make up that accentuates the features on my face. Smokey eye shadow, full ruby red lips, and long flirtatious eye lashes. My boobs are pushed up and practically bare in my tops and dresses. Five inch heels. However, I’m not a stripper.

I’m young. 29 to be exact. Happy birthday to me  last month. However, I’ve been the slut in the bar…a long time ago. I’ve been fucked and someone just leaving my house without a call. I’ve done things that I don’t care to repeat and have chosen selectively share with certain close people in my life. So no, CCL you’re not going to get everything about this part of my history in depth. It’s not necessary and wont make you understand this post any further.

You bois think you have such “game” on a single femme. You have absolutely no clue the way I grew up and the things I have learned from all kinds of people.

I know you can’t find love in a bar. I know that if you’ve added someone on a social networking site and they instantly email you sexually explicit flirtations. Its safe to assume I’m nothing special and that every other woman is receiving the same treatment. How sweet of you. Yes that’s sarcasm. 😉

If and when I am ready to begin dating. I want just that. I want to date. Where the fuck is the fucking chivalry?!?! Why is it that since I’ve been out in my adult years…I haven’t been asked out? And wholeheartedly connecting with Emma Stone’s character Olive. I am in tears. Where is the Matt Dillon waiting by his car knowing that Molly wasn’t such a loser. Saw her as something else…something more.

Or am I being naive? Or maybe just flat out annoyed!

Lesbians, myself included, talk so much shit about men and how they treat women. Judging from my recent encounters just ONLINE! How the fuck are you any better? Tell me? And if you feel it works both ways..which I’m sure it does. As most of these things do..

Is that just what I am? I have a shady past when I wasn’t happy with myself and who I was. However, since I’ve stepped into who I am…I’m not so shady. I’m not so whorish. I’m not slutty. My legs are actually closed pretty tight. I want to spread them. I want sex. I’m human. But, not in the ways that it’s being offered.

I’ve had a total of maybe three butches actually ask how I’m doing. Have I heard from my old job? Things that actually relate to what I’m saying out there for the free world to know about my life. That peeks a woman’s interest in you. Not you behaving like some pimpass douche! What part of that behavior should make me want to give myself to you?

Cockiness is ok, of course. Let a girl know ya like her and all. However, there are more subtle ways of doing so. 😉 Maybe I’m just over analyzing the movie in conjunction with my own recent experiences.

*sigh*

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