After so long of trying to find a reason to stay motivated. I kinda found one. It’s not my real motivation. But, it was a perk for a short time. Don’t get me wrong! A huge chunk of my workouts have been just that! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed going to my classes for the physical perks!
I’ll go ahead and spit this out. My spin instructor is HOT! Think about it. She’s female, bossing us around on our little bikes, wearing tight workout clothes and sweating. Did I mention she’s wearing tight workout clothes and sweating?!?!? This had my mind going back to that little babydyke years ago. Which is really weird because I haven’t been like that in forever! Ya know? That confused state of, “is she someone I would want to fuck or do I want to be her?” Hmmm?
Thankfully, I’m taken and not single. When one is single we don’t really take this sort of time out. While, I am taken I can toy around with the idea. Though this never went into any fantasy. I thought it funny that I was attracted to her when I’m soooo hardly, if ever, attracted to femmes! Maybe, it’s her being my instructor? I don’t friggin’ know! It was odd to me!
So, I’d be in my spin class and chuckle to myself. You know that scene in The L Word when Dana and Tina are in spin class? Dana’s crushing on her spin instructor? Dana doesn’t think she has a chance because she thinks the instructor is straight. I’d chuckle about that. And try not to look too much at my instructor. Conscientiously aware of this odd crush moment.
One day I allowed myself to look. By accident really. I came in a little late and the only bike left was one on the side of the stage. You can’t see the tv on the side of the stage. I had been reading the subtitles on the tv behind her as a distraction. This time I was able to see her. The sweat beads shimmering on her toned arms. Her abs tightening through her tank top. Her ASS! The thoughts in my mind eventually changed. I WANT TO BE HER!! I want her ass! LOL!! Not in the sexual sense…in that totally girly slumber party kinda way. Like, girls in a locker room saying I’d kill for those legs, boobs, whatever!
Ugh! Very rare. But, this sort of thing sneaks up on me sometimes. Luckily, I’m not one to hook up with a girl at a place I frequent daily. Work, gyms, grocery store those places are off limits for me LOL! We don’t call it Dyke Drama for nothing! I know…where the heck do I find a girlfriend?!?!?
Anyway, there’s my twisted way to find motivation. I want to BE my spin instructor!!