There have been several blogs advising femmes how to flirt with a butch. I am here, to inform the bois how NOT to behave for a potential girlfriend. Does anyone recall “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” This is my blog as to how to lose a femme..in less than that!
My most creepy experience was in ONE day! I met her at a friend’s Halloween party. She was really nice and gave me lots of compliments. It helped that she dressed as a diesel dyke for the occasion. I’m a sucker for a mechanic! I know that I have mentioned that a boi can look at a femme and we’ll know that butch wants us.
Creepy: However, there is such a thing as a creepy stare!
Watching me all evening long after I’ve spoken to you and let you know that I’m a little interested. We’re on the brink to creepy. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Bois! I know we’re hot! Stare and count to 5. Then look away for 10 to 30 counts. LOL! We want you to like us not stalk us! That behavior actually makes me feel like I have all the power. I’m a sub, bottom, femme. Naturally, I don’t want to be the one in total control from the get go. Ok, this heavy duty staring makes you look a little desperate.
There, I said it!
I wish that was my only example. It got worse. I was younger and enjoying the flattery that comes with dating. Her and I did exchange numbers. I considered my initial impression of her to blurs of being at a party. Drinks, lots of people, and a fuzzy memory. When she called me we chatted for a good while. Chatted…didn’t have a real conversation. I assumed that because things were very new between her and I. We were keeping it neutral. Then she asked what I was doing that day. Told her I was enjoying my day off. I barely had any of those when I was working. I was a bit of a workaholic.
Creepy: So, she invited herself over.
Bois! Invite us out on a date! Invite us over to your friends house (after a little while)! But, YOU do NOT invite yourself over to a femme’s house while courting. That’s an old rule!! Or maybe I’m old fashioned? I don’t know. You’re coming off a little pushy this way. To me, when a woman invites you in her home she’s letting you into her world. Being allowed into a femmes’ home can sometimes suggest the next level in dating.
I did. I know. Smack my early 20 something self! I gave her my address and directions. We chatted again and had a lot of laughs. It started to get late and I had work the next morning. She suggested staying the night.
Let me break off for a second. I’m not an “easy” girl. I’m not naive in the slightest! I wasn’t creeped out enough yet to give her the “fuck off!” I didn’t feel in danger or anything. This entire situation was just off.
So off that it felt a bit like a slumber party. That’s probably my fault because I didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. I was keeping it slow. Not only because I’m not a complete whore but I just wasn’t feelin’ the creepy vibe. LOL! Needless to say, we did not have sex.
I tried to wake her up the next morning before I left for work at 5AM! She was warned the night before! She was not waking up! Grogginess and all she managed to tell me that she stayed up watching me sleep.
At 5AM you can expect the bitch to peep out. “You what?!??!?!”
Creepy: I had to make sure I heard this right. “I stayed up watching you sleep.”
Yep. I heard right. Fuck! I don’t have time for this. “Ok. That’s weird.” Fucked up thing…she agreed. All right that’s worse!! It’s one thing to be creepy and clueless about it. It’s another to be totally aware of your bazaar behavior!!! Again, I didn’t have time for this. “I have to get to work. You staying or going?” She said if it was ok with me then she’d like to get some more sleep. I told her not really, but I don’t have time to go over it right now. I let her sleep a little more while I went to work.
I didn’t feel any real danger with this girl. Things were just off. If I felt danger, she wouldn’t be in my apartment sleeping while I was at work. Yes. Punch my young ass in the skull!! I think she was just young and desperate. I don’t know.
I’m at work avoiding this conversation with anyone I work with. Yes. I was already ashamed of subjecting myself to this oddball!
Creepy: I call to check on her and she admits to cleaning my apartment. She protests that it wasn’t anything extreme. Just tidied things up and cleaned my dishes. Then she asked if that was bad? Ugh! Really?
Of course, things get busy at work. She said she had somewhere to go and I tell her where to put my key.
When I get home I notice that the little bit of dishes that were in the sink are put away. My bed is made. Even my dog has fresh water in her bowl.
I’m aware that this is an “above and beyond” nice gesture. It’s also a gesture that makes a girl feel violated. Sure she said that she didn’t do much. She says that she didn’t snoop.
She called later that evening and told me that she just wanted to do something nice for me. I asked if she thought my place was a mess. My apartment was always guest ready even though I hardly had any guest over! I think the few dishes that were in the sink were my cereal bowl and coffee mug!! I think her friends had tried to talk her out of cleaning. She just had to do something for me.
*Shaking my head* I don’t even know how to go on about how awkward this was. I told her that cleaning my house wasn’t the ideal thing to do. I also explained to her that I don’t think we had a chance at being a couple. That was the last chat we had.
I think she would have turned out to be a nice friend. I could have maybe helped her out. I think I maxed out my creep levels for that month and lost the ability to wait for more signs.