I’ve never been fond of organized religion. I’ve never believed in following the herd. I have, as a small time pagan who eventually settled with agnosticism always believed in SOMETHING. I do enjoy going to church for praise and worship as a born again Christian. I’m still not pleased with the people who run the show.
Hubby and I frequent a gay friendly church in the Houston area called Community Gospel. The pastor has tried offering us counseling in a religious aspect because we sincerely believe that our issues were within the supernatural realm. At the time, I wasn’t sure what I was doing, going to do or what I was going to have to go through while opening these spiritual doors all over again.
As an agnostic, one is quite content knowing there’s SOMETHING out there, but doesn’t know which to choose. As there is so much religious literature out there with many different cultures and beliefs.
This past Sunday, I was really conflicted with going to church. I KNEW in my heart and mind that I really needed and wanted to go. But something else within me didn’t want to go. I know that I was having the demonic visions again and sleep was getting difficult. These things can put a person on edge a little…a bit more than a little. I am very cautious when this happens. Luckily, Hubby and I are on the same page when we get the urge to head to church on a free day. Meaning, if I’m not up to admitting I want/need to go by asking her…she asks me at some point in the day. *Sigh* what a relief.
I think a part of me is nervous about letting her know that I have the URGE to go to church. Like, she’ll know something is going on with me spiritually/internally. I don’t think that’s the case with her…but it’s my own guilt for having these things happening to me. Another reason I don’t like to ask is because I don’t want to add yet another task to her already filled “to-do list.”
Basically, church disappointed me this Sunday from the moment I walked in the door. There were ropes on the three back rows of the rearranged chairs. I’ll admit I had a funky feeling hoping I was wrong! Uggh…I hate being right about people and these things.
I asked the pastor after his usual welcome, “What’s with the chairs?”
He walked off with a, “It’s to move the people from the back closer to the front.”
I wonder if he has Hubby and I pegged for being the argumentative couple. It irritated me that he walked off with that answer! DODGE!!
Ok, Pastor C, I’m not here for your churchie obligations. I’m here to REJOICE & praise the good Lord and be thankful for everything that I have! I wouldn’t be here, where I’m standing, living and breathing without Him.
When the praise and worship ended I realized Pastor C was going to be providing our sermon for the evening. Ok…I’m going to try to not let the incessant “it’s ok to be gay” preaching bother me.
Look folks! We’re in a friggin’ church run by gay people, overflowing with gay people and their families…I think we all get the message that being gay and Christian can go together! Those that still have some confusion about the fact should schedule a time with one of the pastors to discuss your issues alone. This stuff is killing it for the rest of us that are here to learn His word. Move on to some more much-needed discussion!
Please, preach to the rest of us who might not know or understand what the Bible may be trying to say! Please, prove to the curious non-believer or new believer that the Bible has foretold everything that is happening now so many years ago! Tell us what is going to happen! Tell us what’s going to happen to those who do not believe in the Second Coming! Tell us we’re not crazy for having demonic encounters because the world is goin’ to hell in a hand-basket!!!!
I’m tired of hearing that we’re all ok, cuz we’re gay every friggin Sunday. God loves you & has known about you before YOU knew about you…EVERY FRIGGIN’ SUNDAY! I know it’s an issue in some of your old family churches. Obviously, it’s not here!
Hubby, had the misfortune of hearing my rant after church over dinner.
I also brought up my issue with the chairs to Hubby. I don’t believe that you should shove people who have been shunned from their churches in the past to the front of the church. Religion or spirituality is a process. Especially, for those that have been turned away once before. That’s not the case with me. My case was with people and I simply not knowing or understanding and lack of anyone around to teach me anything.
I believe a person should be compelled by the good grace of God to move up to the front, raise their hands, speak in tongues, etc. It’s a process. Some it may take longer than others. But, it’s a process between that person and God. This act of FORCING people to the front is like chasing a wild animal to bring it into your home.
You’re scaring the unsure away!!
Sadly, for those that have been blessed with God’s presence their entire lives haven’t got a clue how their actions or words can affect other people. Unfortunately, it is this act alone that could easily push people away. Sometimes, my dear Christians your actions can have way more of an effect on people than words alone. I’m quite positive that if I had been fortunate enough to get a non believer into church that day that they would never want to step in there again. Possibly give up ever trying again. For all their thoughts and experiences have been proven true, once again.
I hope and pray that didn’t happen to any newcomers that showed up to service after the Pride weekend. I pray that our church’s little way of bringing people closer didn’t scare them any further than they were before entering those doors!
It’s difficult to remember because people are everywhere, speak louder, and act more obvious. But, they are not the ones to bring anyone closer to God. God shows Himself to all of us if we allow Him in our lives. We and any new believer (including myself), have to remember that God is the perfect one. That people, no matter how good their intentions may be are FAR from perfect!
These reasons alone are why I am so in love with Serenity Prayer..